“I’m Not Playing a Man”

Venus Williams is one of the best tennis players ever to grace the sport. She and her sister, Serena, have won more combined titles than any pair of sisters in sports history.So when Venus took a stand and refused to play a game against Joe “Josepheena” LaBarron of France, she made a huge statement

“I’m not trying to be the next Billie Jean King,” she said, “I’ll play any man for charity or for fun, but this is my livelihood.” Venus says she’s never lost a competition to a man because she’s never played one before, and doesn’t intend to start now.Venus held her fist up and received a standing ovation on the way out.

ALLOD Sportsball Analyzer Tara Newhole hopped right on top of this story, poking Swiss cheese-level holes in it. “First of all,” she reported, “that’s Serena, not Venus. Right off the bat, I’m calling shenanigans.”

Newhole pointed out that the so-called “man” is actually Amelie Muresmo, a biological female with some masculine features who retired in 2009. There’s no way to know if her testosterone levels are abnormal, however, so there’s that.

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