I accompanied my grandchildren to Disney World And as a result My daughter-in-law is upset with me

I recently babysat my grandchildren (5 and 4) for a period of four nights and five days so my son and his wife could attend a wedding in Mexico, and spend a few days on vacation.

They approached me since her mother would not be available, and I initially said I wasn’t comfortable with that. It seemed like a long time to watch the kids, and she has point blank told me that the woman’s family is more important than the man’s, so I was irritated I was being asked and not her mother. I will admit that I did give in when my son became very emotional, but I felt/feel like they were being manipulative.

While I had the kids I was invited to a birthday at Epcot and wanted to go. It didn’t even occur to me to run it by my son or daughter in law, as I had the kids for an extended period of time and obviously they knew they would be going where I went.

My daughter in law had previously mentioned wanting to save up for Disney, but she’s said that about a lot of things, and never made me aware it was something super special to her. Also it was Epcot. It’s not like I took them to Magic Kingdom and they had some magical moment of seeing their favorite character.

When they returned and found out my daughter in law was furious and burst into tears. She said I stole one of her kids first and called me entitled. To be honest I didn’t react well to being called entitled, when she was the one who had previously demanded babysitting. My son asked me to apologize as she was distraught over missing their first Disney trip, but I declined and asked them to leave.

My son reached out again and said I should have asked for something that big, and his wife feels robbed. I know she is a huge Disney person, but it was Epcot, not quintessential Disney and I don’t feel I should have had to miss out on a birthday party I wanted to attend. I told my son I am not apologizing for anything and maybe they should think about how they made me feel when they didn’t respect my initial no. My son feels like Reddit is going to show me the error of my ways.